"I’m 12% Irish, 16% German, 30% Italian, 24% French, 15% Swedish, 3% Cherokee…"
the most important thing I’ve learned since this post got popular is that nothing offends white Americans more than pointing out that they’re a white American
I keep in touch with my friends by liking their pictures on Instagram
if i die my funerals gonna be the biggest fucken party and you’re all invited
great, the only party ive ever been invited to and he might not even die
where do i apply to become a goddess
you can’t apply for a job you already have
smooth as fuck